Pre-Menstrual Synchrony

Apparently women staying in close proximity, have synchronized menstrual cycles. Practically, that just means problematic toilet functionality. However, the real problem arises when their PMS synchronizes. That just means screaming, wailing, sweet craving and incessant fights with boyfriends, in which the boyfriends simply must be blamed for everything wrong in life. ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

As my roommate wails about her relationship issues to her boyfriend on her phone, while another having recently got her marriage fixed with a guy that her parents like, in spite of her having a boyfriend, my woes seem simply incomparable. Which is good, cause the only way I feel happy about my life is when I see that I have it better than others. Seemingly the only way I can stay happy is if I’m above everyone else. Or at least a majority.

So, my roommate wants to get married to her boyfriend. The problem is, his mom doesn’t like her. Why? She is fat and short. Meanwhile, her parents are completely on board with the idea of them getting married. Touchy subject normally, but currently, she’s PMSing, so basically her entire world seems perturbed. (Side note, not to be judgmental, but do guys find fat girls attractive? I have never personally been obese per say. Overweight at max, and I am close to achieving a slimmer frame.)

And because PMS makes everything feel so heightened, she must ask her boyfriend about where their relationship is going. She also came up with a gem of a dialogue straight out of a Bolly movie: “You want to keep your parents happy and I want to keep mine happy, which means we can’t keep each other happy.”. Classic. Of course, the quintessential, “where is the relationship going?” and “I’m not happy with the way things are but I’ll have to accept them anyway” keep cropping up, which makes me believe that every god damn relationship sounds way too similar. Relationships are so generic.

Everyone’s also worried about their careers going nowhere. For the first time, I am getting to know people from a non-science or non-engineering background, and it’s amazing. In my new apartment, there are girls from hotel management, architecture and fashion backgrounds. Even though they all come from a non-academics oriented background, they all still seem to have very similar lives. Same kind of problems. Puts mine in perspective.

P.S. I just overheard her screaming “I don’t hate her”. Her boyfriend’s mom of course. Pretty sure his mom says the same thing about my roommate. Also, girls can act so extremely needy sometimes. Also, chocolate companies should bank on this.


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